so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
