just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
