Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
