i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
