Where is the hickey?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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