Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
