i would punch a child for taco bell
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize
