I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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