Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
well most of my day revolves around power hour
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize