hell yes lets make some ravioli
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize