I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize