It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
