some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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