If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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