I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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