eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
