U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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