so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
