i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
