the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
