; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I will be naked everywhere
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
