their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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