my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
You can't motorboat a personality
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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