That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Is it penis luge time yet?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
