I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
