Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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