I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Randomize
