Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
