dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
