last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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