I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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