I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Randomize
