i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
