I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
