i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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