Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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