If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
