I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
