Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
