she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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