Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
