just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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