i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize