I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
