Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
