You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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