just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize