he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
you would pick up someone in the library
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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