The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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