I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Semen is not good for contacts.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
