Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
