Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
