how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
