Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
