Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
