The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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