Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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