They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
