is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize